He said, She said
He said: I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said: You wear pants don’t you?
He said: Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said: That’s a good idea – you stand by the stove while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but drink beer.
He said: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.
She said: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
He said: Since I first laid eyes on you, I’ve wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said: Well, you succeeded.
He said: Want a quickie?
She said: As opposed to what?
He said: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said: Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said: I don’t know; it has never happened.
He said: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
She said: A widow.
He said: Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said: Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed – married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.