Funny Valentine’s Day SMS
Let’s not joke about this: Valentine’s Day is a big day for retailers. In the USA alone, shoppers will cough up about $15 billion for all things to do with love and fascination, each smitten soul forking out more than $100 on average.
Well, actually not each: men spend twice as much as women do on Valentine’s Day. It does not mean that men are as twice as much in love as women, it’s probably because women are born with a knack for niceties. (Or perhaps too many men have too many mistresses.)
A dozen of beers will be a perfect Valentine’s Day gift for Joe Married. His missus, on the other hand, would have her eye on jewelry, flowers, chocolates, and an evening out at a restaurant where price is just right… for her. And almost in that order too. That’s what the National Retail Foundation says: most of the big love bucks are lavished on jewelry and dining, followed by flowers, clothing, candy and cards.
Online shoppers spend 66% more on Valentine’s Day gifts than offline-only shoppers, according to shop.org, pushing lover boy’s Valentine’s budget to $200. Which makes Thomas Robert Dewar’s quote sound about right: “Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.”
It’s figures like these that prompted MSN Money’s Ms Dunleavy to call a boycott on Valentine’s Day. She backs it up with an excellent money-saving tip for the guys:
1. Buy a pint of whipping cream.
2. Go home.
3. Whip it up.
4. What, you need further instructions???
The trusty SMS text message
Or, in the least, send a Valentine’s SMS text message. Here are some ideas, courtesy of smspoems.net:
You’re a big hit, I’m a good catch. Let’s start the match!
Valentine’s Day special. My heart is for sale. 100% discount to you only!
Love so steady, love so fine, Be my Valentine and I’ll be thine.
If those don’t work, try a funny Valentine’s Day SMS:
What kind of flowers do u never give on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflowers!
What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine’s Day? Owl be yours.
Roses are red, violets are blue; I have STD and tonight, my Valentine, you’ll have too.
U r my 24/7, my 365, u r my disco, my jive, u r my cheese & my chive, u make my valentine’s archive come alive.
You look a little ill today. It shows you’re suffering from a lack of Vitamin ME. Happy Valentine’s Day!
The final price
And, hey Mr Nice Guy, from the history of Valentine’s Day you would also know that Saint Valentine paid the ultimate price for love.
If you don’t have a Valentine, Happy Independence Day!